Such Great Heights? My thoughts...

     1995 will always be the year that I consider a turning point of my life. I was 23, a college student, a full time employee at a retirement center, and an individual who was still trying to identify myself. While days consisted of work and study, nights usually meant attending clubs and bars until the wee hours of the morning. With living at home and not having too many responsibilities, my life was not yet complete, and the reasons were strictly social. So, I had a consultation with a surgeon in Dayton, Ohio, with hopes of fulfilling my needs.  With being a dwarf, I have heard of this procedure  called ELL(Extended Limb Lengthening) that lengthens limbs and possibly adds anywhere from 4 to 12 inches to one's height. So, I daydreamed at times of attaining the maximum and becoming 5'7 and not even showing a concern of the procedure itself and the rehabilitation and possible side effects that come afterwards. My plans for this journey were not to be able to look at myself in the mirror  at higher eye levels, my plans for this journey were not to be able to sit on a couch or love seat and being able to relax with both feet on the ground, and my plans for this journey were not to be able to reach things. My plan was to become taller and attain a social acceptance in everyday society.


Growing up, I was exposed to the dwarf community, whether it was the Human Growth Foundation, or Little People of America, but there was a stubborn side of me that didn't accept who I was, and I had other aspirations of who I wanted to be.  I attended local meetings on a Chapter level, but refused to commit myself to the organization on a regular basis. So, as I became older and went to college, my nights consisted of hanging out at the Oregon Bar District or clubs such as 1470 west, the Asylum, and some of the other trendy clubs in the Dayton area. As my friends met individuals of the opposite sex, received phone numbers, went out together to Denny's after closing time, as well as some things I will not disclose here, I felt like the 5th wheel and left out, and of course lonely.  And the times that I did meet someone it was usually just a dance, or if a phone number was exchanged, conversations would ensue, and then be informed later that they only wanted to be friends. A story that many of us in the LP community, have probably heard at one instance or another in our lifetimes.


      Because of this, I was clearly unhappy with myself and the way society perceived me, so I decided to see what this limb lengthening procedure was all about. So, I made an appointment with a surgeon who performed the procedure in town, and underwent a consultation. I had x-rays, and he went into complete detail of what the procedure entailed. He discussed the surgery, and the daily tasks of having to turn the screws so that the bone will lengthen. As I think about it now, my stomach churns with the pain, the agony, and the risks involved with the open wounds, but at the time, my eyes were on the prize. Before I left, he told me to think about it, and get back with him if I wanted to pursue this.  So, that week I informed friends and family members of the procedure and surprisingly received a knee jerk reaction. I was asked why I would change myself, why would I give in to what society wants, and statements like "We love you for who you are!" Obviously, after hearing what friends and family members had to say, I regrouped and really contemplated my next move.  I asked myself  many questions such as, " Am I doing the right thing?" Was this the solution?" "In the long run, will this be worth it?" So for days and weeks, I pondered the next move, and as I was looking through old LPA Todays(eventhough I wasn't a member, I would still receive one each year thanks to the gracious office for trying to lure former members) and became interested as I saw pics of the Conferences, the Cruises, and the Meetings, and realized that I am the same as the individuals in these magazines, and that perhaps I need to give LPA a chance and check it out.



     It took a while, but eventually I did seek involvement, and actually found a website that was directed towards dwarfs finding other dwarfs for either friendships or relationships. In 1998, I attended my first LPA Regional in Sandusky, and met a number of individuals, and befriended, some who are actually very good friends of mine to this day. Through the website, that I had previously mentioned I met someone who I talked with off and on, and eventually we dated for a while,  and soon after that, I was talking to someone else and we began to date, so my social life had taken a 180 degree turn, of where it was in 1995. Finally in 1999, I found my future wife, Holly, at a Regional Conference in Pittsburgh, PA, as we were talking online for a couple of months before we had officially met. And since I became involved, I have met over hundreds and hundreds of individuals and have made many life lasting friendships, friendships that I would never have imagined back in 1995, especially if I had gone through with the procedure.



     I'm not here trying to sell LPA to those who are not members, and if one chooses to go through the ELL procedure, then to each their own.  The problems that I have are those who advertise and solicit ELL posts on facebook pages or other means, and state that this is a cure for Dwarfism. That this is the solution. That this is a miracle. It's none of the above, and as it states in LPA's statement on ELL, it has been medically proven that it's not a cure, and only used for cosmetic reasons. The surgeon who consulted me on the procedure didn't disclose that it would help my spinal stenosis, ease arthritic knees, or cure any other ailments. It would make me taller..that's it. And while there are surgeons that recommend and require psychological evaluations for those who undergo gastric bypass, and similar procedures, many who perform these ELL procedures fail to do so. I wish my surgeon would have directed me to have a psychological evaluation before taking the next steps, as he or she would have nailed why I was seeking this change. And for many, I believe this is why this procedure is performed, which in fairness isn't the so called cure they were seeking, as there is still something missing.



     It also scares the heck out me to see these solicitors attract those who are new parents of children with dwarfism, stating that this is a cure all, or else it's gloom and doom, rather than let those who have experienced lifetimes of success, experiences, and tribulations share their knowledge. These procedures are widespread in the international community, where the acceptance of individuals with disabilities are very low, and I fear that this will become ominous in this country, where all of a sudden we must be perfect.



     Being a Dwarf is not the easiest thing in the world, but it is certainly not the worst. I count my blessings each day for who I am, what I have, and all of the wonderful family members and friends that I have. If it wasn't for my Dwarfism, I wouldn't have my wonderful wife, and two beautiful children. If it wasn't for my Dwarfism, I wouldn't have many wonderful friends. And if it wasn't for my Dwarfism, I am not sure if I would have this outlook on the world  where we should always put acceptance over perfection, especially when it's ourselves.