Perhaps think before opening up your bill!

In the midst of DuckGate, or what I like to call the Duck that roared and got axed, there is a tremendous debate in the media, and social networks of those who support or oppose the suspension of Duck Dynasty patriarch, Phil Robertson. In fact, there are those who are passionately opposing this move, by issuing death threats and sending suspicious packages to the offices of A&E. If you ask me, am I surprised by his views...No. Do I believe in the right to free speech? Yes, as long as it doesn't cause harm or threatens a person's safety.. Do I believe that the network had every right to suspend, fire, or possibly cancel his show. Yes.

Since this story is over 24 hours old and been recycled more than a car battery, I'm not going into specifics of the details, his background, or the the show. I'm actually going to substitute some of the words and connotations he said, and replace it with some of the things that not only our community hears and deals with from television, movies, and other media outlets, but what the disabled community hears and deals with as well.  What would have happened if Phil would have stated that those in wheelchairs should not be granted accessibility to public places? What would have happened if Phil would have stated those with autism or Downs Syndrome need to be kept in Mental Health Centers and sheltered away from the public? What would have happened if Phil would have said that all little people(probably would have used the infamous M-word) should only work in circuses or as leprechauns and elves? I can't answer what would have happened to Phil, but unfortunately, many celebrities and public officials have made ignorant remarks like this and have not faced any repercussions. When Rosie O' Donnell announced her fears of LP's on the Chelsea Handler show, she faced an onslaught of emails and tweets denouncing her comments, but unfortunately, she was not reprimanded by the OWN Network. When Chelsea Handler made  jokes towards LP's or comments about their personal lives, she faced repercussions from the LP community, but there wasn't a reprimand from the E Network. Just recently, Lindsay Lohan said she was afraid of little people,  The response? People shaking their heads, as poor Lindsay has enough issues. And last but not least, when Paramount and the filmmakers of "The Wolf of Wall Street" were asked to remove the Dwarf Tossing scene from the movie, they only responded by removing it from some of the trailers.(As of now, it isn't sure if this was removed from the movie) As we have seen from prime time, cable television, movies, and even the 24 hour news cycle, politically correctness and sensitivity unfortunately doesn't cover everyone in their eyes.

When Phil Robertson made his comments, he was expressing his free speech, but as he was representing his show and A&E, he offended the network's employees who are African-American, and those who lead alternative lifestyles. Phil didn't understand that his "co-workers" have every right to be in a workplace where they do not have to tolerate any hate or discrimination because they are a different race, sex, national origin, disability, or sexual orientations. At the end of the day, this is why he was suspended. If it had to do with money, then he would still be filming, as the viewers (both fans and haters) might tune in to see what he says next. But I would hope that companies such as Comcast, Time Warner, Viacom, Disney, and the other media conglomerates would follow suit and protect the rights and respects of their employees who are disabled.

As we have seen in the last twenty years, saying what's on your mind can be very destructive. Just ask Jimmy the Greek, Marge Schott, Al Campanis, Fuzzy Zoeller, Sergio Garcia, and now we can add Phil Robertson to this list, but unfortunately, there are many names that aren't listed. I think it's time that everyone adheres to the standards of being respectable to all differences. With it being 2013, people should know better, but it's obvious a lot of work has to be done.

Such Great Heights? My thoughts...

     1995 will always be the year that I consider a turning point of my life. I was 23, a college student, a full time employee at a retirement center, and an individual who was still trying to identify myself. While days consisted of work and study, nights usually meant attending clubs and bars until the wee hours of the morning. With living at home and not having too many responsibilities, my life was not yet complete, and the reasons were strictly social. So, I had a consultation with a surgeon in Dayton, Ohio, with hopes of fulfilling my needs.  With being a dwarf, I have heard of this procedure  called ELL(Extended Limb Lengthening) that lengthens limbs and possibly adds anywhere from 4 to 12 inches to one's height. So, I daydreamed at times of attaining the maximum and becoming 5'7 and not even showing a concern of the procedure itself and the rehabilitation and possible side effects that come afterwards. My plans for this journey were not to be able to look at myself in the mirror  at higher eye levels, my plans for this journey were not to be able to sit on a couch or love seat and being able to relax with both feet on the ground, and my plans for this journey were not to be able to reach things. My plan was to become taller and attain a social acceptance in everyday society.


Growing up, I was exposed to the dwarf community, whether it was the Human Growth Foundation, or Little People of America, but there was a stubborn side of me that didn't accept who I was, and I had other aspirations of who I wanted to be.  I attended local meetings on a Chapter level, but refused to commit myself to the organization on a regular basis. So, as I became older and went to college, my nights consisted of hanging out at the Oregon Bar District or clubs such as 1470 west, the Asylum, and some of the other trendy clubs in the Dayton area. As my friends met individuals of the opposite sex, received phone numbers, went out together to Denny's after closing time, as well as some things I will not disclose here, I felt like the 5th wheel and left out, and of course lonely.  And the times that I did meet someone it was usually just a dance, or if a phone number was exchanged, conversations would ensue, and then be informed later that they only wanted to be friends. A story that many of us in the LP community, have probably heard at one instance or another in our lifetimes.


      Because of this, I was clearly unhappy with myself and the way society perceived me, so I decided to see what this limb lengthening procedure was all about. So, I made an appointment with a surgeon who performed the procedure in town, and underwent a consultation. I had x-rays, and he went into complete detail of what the procedure entailed. He discussed the surgery, and the daily tasks of having to turn the screws so that the bone will lengthen. As I think about it now, my stomach churns with the pain, the agony, and the risks involved with the open wounds, but at the time, my eyes were on the prize. Before I left, he told me to think about it, and get back with him if I wanted to pursue this.  So, that week I informed friends and family members of the procedure and surprisingly received a knee jerk reaction. I was asked why I would change myself, why would I give in to what society wants, and statements like "We love you for who you are!" Obviously, after hearing what friends and family members had to say, I regrouped and really contemplated my next move.  I asked myself  many questions such as, " Am I doing the right thing?" Was this the solution?" "In the long run, will this be worth it?" So for days and weeks, I pondered the next move, and as I was looking through old LPA Todays(eventhough I wasn't a member, I would still receive one each year thanks to the gracious office for trying to lure former members) and became interested as I saw pics of the Conferences, the Cruises, and the Meetings, and realized that I am the same as the individuals in these magazines, and that perhaps I need to give LPA a chance and check it out.



     It took a while, but eventually I did seek involvement, and actually found a website that was directed towards dwarfs finding other dwarfs for either friendships or relationships. In 1998, I attended my first LPA Regional in Sandusky, and met a number of individuals, and befriended, some who are actually very good friends of mine to this day. Through the website, that I had previously mentioned I met someone who I talked with off and on, and eventually we dated for a while,  and soon after that, I was talking to someone else and we began to date, so my social life had taken a 180 degree turn, of where it was in 1995. Finally in 1999, I found my future wife, Holly, at a Regional Conference in Pittsburgh, PA, as we were talking online for a couple of months before we had officially met. And since I became involved, I have met over hundreds and hundreds of individuals and have made many life lasting friendships, friendships that I would never have imagined back in 1995, especially if I had gone through with the procedure.



     I'm not here trying to sell LPA to those who are not members, and if one chooses to go through the ELL procedure, then to each their own.  The problems that I have are those who advertise and solicit ELL posts on facebook pages or other means, and state that this is a cure for Dwarfism. That this is the solution. That this is a miracle. It's none of the above, and as it states in LPA's statement on ELL, it has been medically proven that it's not a cure, and only used for cosmetic reasons. The surgeon who consulted me on the procedure didn't disclose that it would help my spinal stenosis, ease arthritic knees, or cure any other ailments. It would make me taller..that's it. And while there are surgeons that recommend and require psychological evaluations for those who undergo gastric bypass, and similar procedures, many who perform these ELL procedures fail to do so. I wish my surgeon would have directed me to have a psychological evaluation before taking the next steps, as he or she would have nailed why I was seeking this change. And for many, I believe this is why this procedure is performed, which in fairness isn't the so called cure they were seeking, as there is still something missing.



     It also scares the heck out me to see these solicitors attract those who are new parents of children with dwarfism, stating that this is a cure all, or else it's gloom and doom, rather than let those who have experienced lifetimes of success, experiences, and tribulations share their knowledge. These procedures are widespread in the international community, where the acceptance of individuals with disabilities are very low, and I fear that this will become ominous in this country, where all of a sudden we must be perfect.



     Being a Dwarf is not the easiest thing in the world, but it is certainly not the worst. I count my blessings each day for who I am, what I have, and all of the wonderful family members and friends that I have. If it wasn't for my Dwarfism, I wouldn't have my wonderful wife, and two beautiful children. If it wasn't for my Dwarfism, I wouldn't have many wonderful friends. And if it wasn't for my Dwarfism, I am not sure if I would have this outlook on the world  where we should always put acceptance over perfection, especially when it's ourselves.

I'm not an adjective! I have a name!

All throughout my life, I've been asked the proper word to describe my existence in society? Is it Midget, Dwarf, or Little Person? Of course, since the word Midget is derogatory and offensive, I've often said Dwarf or Little Person. But as I sit back and read some of the Facebook Pages, the various posts, and blogs, I wonder sometimes if the latter can be just as offensive to some in our community. Personally, I never took offense to the word "Dwarf", even when used in a fantasy type setting, such as books and movies. Perhaps it's because I never had a child or even an adult yell out across a crowded market, "Hey, look at that Dwarf!" But, one word I have often had issue with and I think it can be demeaning in the same way as the word "Midget"  is the word "Little". When I think of the word "Little", I attributed it to being inferior, smaller than everyone else, and having a lesser impact.

There was a recent debate regarding a book called "The Dwarf in the Drawer" which is supposed to be a parody of the Christmas Tradition "The Elf on The Shelf", and while many were upset, there were those who didn't take issue, and felt we had more things to worry about, whether it was Health care, Employment, Equal Rights, and other issues that affect our community.  I didn't seem to take issue, because once again, the word Dwarf has never bothered me, I understand the satirical nature, and I agree that we have to focus on the everyday issues that affect our community. But while I was watching this debate go back and forth, I was thinking of the terminology that is considered politically incorrect to describe those with Dwarfism, and I wondered, what makes the word little acceptable? I know that it's the first word of our wonderful organization, Little People of America, but if one is upset about the word Dwarf, why not little? It reminds me when I was working at a retirement facility during college, and an elderly man come up to me and said "Hi Little Man", and before I can even think about it, an elderly woman following him went off and said "How dare he call you little man!" "Who does he think he is!" Of course, I said, "It's no big Deal" but she replied "It is a big deal!" "Don't let him belittle you like that!"  So, now 22 years later, I'm recapturing the moment and saying to myself "I can understand her argument."  I can see how this could be degrading to some, because how often in society do we use an adjective before the person's name or gender when we address someone? I've never heard someone say" Hello Obese Man!" or "Hello Skinny Woman"! It's probably never going to happen, because we would say "Hello Sir!" or "Hello Ma'am, or if we know their name we might say "Hello Mike!" "Hello Mike!" That's it!!! That answers the question that was asked earlier! What do I want to be called, or what is the proper name for me? Call me Mike! There we go!!!

As I sit and think about our children, and children that are growing up with Dwarfism(LPA members or not) I think it's important that we give them an identity early in life, and that they are known by their name, and not an adjective. I know everyone has their own views on this, but when I see shirts and slogans that say "Love a Little", I don't feel this is doing our children any justice. I understand that there are some using slogans like this to create an awareness, but how about we keep things simple and proper. Instead of "Love a Little", how about "Sydney's Campaign for Awareness..or maybe just use the phrase we use every October, and that is Dwarfism Awareness..Instead of saying "How many littles have had decompression surgery?" replace this with "How many children with Dwarfism have had decompression surgery?" or "How many adults with Dwarfism have had decompression surgery?" Think about it...I don't think other races, nationalities, or disabilities would use an adjective in describing themselves or their children with similar questions. In fact, I feel it would be offensive.

So, as I sit here 22 years later, thinking about my conversation with Alice, I am grateful that it took place. I know the man didn't mean anything by calling me "Little Man", and if he did. I have forgiven him, but because of the conversations and everything else conveyed to me by friends and loved ones in life, it has given me a stronger sense that we should be known by who we are and our names, and not an adjective.